Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts

Glacial God

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During this long period of uncertainly in our lives, many of our friends have been praying for us.  About a month ago, a friend of mine asked me how things are going.  “Well,” I replied, “God is moving glacially.”  He chuckled out loud, paused for a second, and then said, “Yes, guess that’s true.”  His response intrigued me, so the next time someone asked me how things are going I replied the same way...and I received almost the exact same reaction.  Over the next few weeks I noticed that this phrase caused nearly everyone to laugh, stop and think, and then agree that it’s an accurate description.  
The similarity of their reactions caused me to spend a little more time musing and thinking about the implications of the adverb, “glacially.”  (It’s scary that I know to call it an adverb, isn’t it?  Credit “School House Rock” for that one!)  We’ve all experienced it in one way or another, I think; and the more I think about it, the more I realize how this descriptor is really true of how God works.
The first thing that I’d like to note in “Glacier 101” is that glaciers move S---L---O---W---L---Y.  Honestly, that’s the reason I chose the word in the first place!  When most people think about glaciers, they think of a huge, slow moving chunk of ice.  The fastest moving glaciers move at a pace of approximately 20 - 30 meters a day (about the length of an 18-wheeler).  A more common pace is that of about 2-3 meters per day (about the length of a couch), but some glaciers move so slow that it’s difficult to even measure. 
There are two things we can learn from the glacier’s movement.  First, is that beneath the surface the ice is reshaping and reforming the landscape.  Glaciers carve some of the most beautiful places on earth!  Through erosion and abrasion they pick up sediment, rocks, etc. and move it from one place to another; they also carve and smooth out other sections of land.  In a manner that we can neither see nor measure, they adjust and rearrange vast quantities of the landscape into veritable works of art.  Is there a parallel to our lives that can be found here?  Uhm….Yes!  :)
The second thing that we can notice about the glacier’s speed is that it is most often determined by the amount of friction.  Friction, as you know, is caused when two objects rub against one another.  Anyone who as ever slid down a slide at a park knows that greater amounts of friction create slower speeds.  Less friction, faster movement.  When it comes to God reshaping and carving our lives, friction plays an important role in that process.  Now, please don’t hear me say that if you decrease friction w/ God then He’ll move faster.  I wish it were that easy; but God cannot be controlled!  He will do what He is going to do, and He will work His purposes according to His will.  What I believe, however, is that the amount of friction you create will make it SEEM like He’s moving faster or slower.  The closer you are to Him and the more you delight in Him and in His work, the process will not seem so long.  It may take a while, and it may feel like it takes a while, but it will go much faster than if you fight Him every step of the way.  It’s that temporal phenomenon that happens with good things and bad things: vacations seem to be over before they start, but an afternoon at an unpleasant job can seem to last forever!  I believe that the same thing applies to God’s work in our lives.  The time it takes for Him to accomplish His purposes remains constant; but our focus and degree of participation determine how long it “feels” like.
Are you experiencing a “Glacial God” right now?  Perhaps recently?  Are you frustrated by His seemingly slow pace?  It’s natural for us to desire quick work...we’ve been conditioned that way!   So if God seems to be moving slowly right now, let me encourage you to find joy in Him.  Remember, “joy” isn’t necessarily “happiness.”  Ask Him to cause His joy to live in you through His promises that He’ll “never leave you nor forsake you,” (Deut. 31:8) and that His plans for you are to “prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you a hope and a future” (Jer. 29:11).  From a fellow sojourner, I know it's not pleasant or easy to wait...but if you hold on the results will be worth it!

Be the Branch

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I’ve mentioned previously that I’ve been going through the Abide in Christ - Growing Disciples Series (Andrew Murray, edited by Bo Stevens). Something occurred to me the other day as I was studying John 15:4. Murray points out that we are reminded to remain connected to the Vine (Christ), for apart from it we cannot bear fruit. It is also necessary that we do not attempt to be the Vine - that is Jesus’ job.

How often do we try to guide and direct the Vine? How often do we think we know what’s best, and therefore try to make it happen? How often do we try to decide when and where we’ll produce fruit? In truth, that is not our place. When we commit our lives to Christ, we are committing to His Lordship of our lives. His will...His way...His time. For me (and many of you, I suspect), that is a much greater challenge than I ever anticipated it to be. What I read the other day, however, has offered me some freedom…

“You are the branch. You don’t need to be more. You don’t need to assume the responsibility of the Vine for even a moment. You don’t need to leave the place of entire dependence and unbounded confidence. You don’t need to be anxious about how you are to understand the mystery, or fulfill its conditions, or work out its blessed aim...You just be the branch.” (emphasis mine)

Just be the branch. Wow! That hit me square between the eyes! Be the branch. It’s so simple, yet seems so hard! I have long been duped into the Nike® version of Christianity - “Just do it!” Get out and find where God is working and join in! For too long I have shouldered the burden of the “where, when, and what” - and it’s got to stop.

A real vine supplies the branches with what it needs at any given time. The nutrients are extracted from the soil, the sap flows, etc. at the appropriate time. It is not the branch’s responsibility to dig into the soil and provide it, or to decide when fruit will be produced. That responsibility remains the function of the vine - all the branch must do is follow the instructions of the vine each day. That’s it...so it is in the Christian life.

Be the branch. I encourage you...no, I challenge you. Let “Be the Branch” be your slogan for the next week. Wake every day, and commit your day to be the branch. Make decisions throughout the day, with this singular thought...be the branch. Release the details to Him, and simply be about doing what He has given you to do each day with passion and zeal for His glory. If you do this for a week, I bet it’ll surprise you how settled your spirit will feel. The Vine is designed to carry those burdens - we are not. No wonder so many of us crack and break underneath the stress! We try to carry weight and responsibility that was never in our design to carry in the first place. It’s an exercise in futility to even try!

Be the branch.

Singin' Kum Ba Ya with Peter

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I've been finding myself in the shoes of Peter as of late. Not because I denied Christ...not because I boldly proclaimed the gospel to thousands of people...and not even because I seriously wanted to use my plastic knife to cut off the ear of the jerk in the Panda Express who wouldn't stop saying, "G-D- this, and G-D- that..." (and I'm not totally sure that God would've healed this dude's ear even if I did!) No, friends, it is much less noble than that...it is this: I feel like I've drawn on God's power to step out of the boat, but now that I'm out here I'm beginning to lose control and FREAK OUT. But first, a little back story...

For those of you who don't know, a few months ago I leapt out of my comfort zone. I left The Avenue Church, in which I had served for nearly 12 years, and moved to a brand new church in Sugar Land, TX called Grandview Fellowship. Nothing about the move made sense on paper except that it was close to my family (parents, siblings, etc.) - but the real driving factor was this: I knew God told me to go. Moving close to family was a definite plus, don't get me wrong; but we left because God said, "Go."

So I jumped out of the boat and ran across the water toward Him! It was so freeing! So exhilirating! Running into the unknown; into doing something I'd never done before (helping build a fledgeling church) felt exciting! I knew I was going to have to depend on God to make it happen, and that made me feel even closer to Him! (Can you see where this is going?)

Then the wind and waves roared...
"You're not gonna have the ridiculously awesome worship band that you have at The Avenue."
I was looking for musicians at The Avenue when God provided the ones that are there now; what He did then, He will do again."
"You're taking a pay-cut and moving into a more expensive area."
No problem! I thought...God's got this!
The housing market is depressed right now...how're you going to sell your house?"
I don't have to! God has to bring that buyer to us. He knows what we need, and He'll make it happen.

Fast-forward a few months to today. The school year is ending, and my wife and kids will be moving down in about a week and we still haven't sold the house:
...not even an offer
...and we've already reduced the price we're asking
...twice.

At this point in my life, I have a new respect for Peter. I've always wondered why he started sinking. I mean, he'd already walked on the water! Jesus said, "Come" and he did...he'd already taken steps where he should have sunk and didn't! So why, halfway through his journey toward Jesus, did he all of a sudden get scared and start to sink? Why am I, though cheerful and excited at the onset of the journey and having already watched God open tons of doors for this opportunity, beginning to get stressed more and more as the day approaches that we need to be gone from Waxahachie? Why am I fearful that we won't be able to sell our house, and if we do, we won't get the profit & equity we need out of it in order to move into the house we want to buy in Sugar Land?

The answer, I believe, is that I am what I once heard Craig Groeshel call a "Practicing Atheist." A Practicing Atheist, he suggested, is someone who believes in God, but lives his life as if He doesn't exist. You see, I know that God controls everything. I know that He has plans to prosper me, and not to harm me. I know that he owns the cattle on a thousand hills, and that money is not something the He worries about...He'll accomplish what He wants to do...period. I know all these things. But I KNOW what happens when the bank account hits zero. I KNOW how much I need to clear on selling the house in order to get into the size house I need (...ahem, "want"). I KNOW that living at my parent's house and commuting into Sugar Land every day is NOT a viable long-term option.

So what's the difference between what I know and what I KNOW? The answer is, "I don't know."

I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why my knowledge that God is all powerful and that He directs the steps of every home buyer on the planet doesn't subdue my knowledge of the current market status, seller's net sheets, and the like. On paper there's no comparison - God's power wins. But my physical response (loss of sleep, anxiety, worry, etc.) is that of the latter, not the former. Why?

As one who purports that "worship is a lifestyle," I'm embarassed to say that my lifestyle of fretting and worrying about this does not demonstrate the security in Christ that I claim to have. I know to the very core of my soul Who God is, and what He is capable of. I've seen His handiwork in my life and the lives of others over and over again. I know without a doubt that He and His power over creation are real...still I stumble, worry, and freak out over the whole process of selling and finding a house.

I think that's what happened to Peter. He saw God's power...he ran across the top of the water! But somehow, the physical, tangible elements around him caused him fear and he began to sink. Not because he didn't believe God could do it - he'd already experienced that! Still, somehow they got the best of him.

And that's where I find myself right now: sittin' with my good buddy Peter in the "I should know better club," singin' Kum Bah Yah, My Lord. Come by here and RESCUE ME 'cuz I am sinking fast! I'm in good company with the likes of Peter, for sure; but sinking nonetheless. I have periods of gleaming faith and steadfast determination (like tonight as I write this); but my subconscious is eaten up with it. It's always on the tip of my mind (I'm one quick, careless thought away from the death spiral), and my mind is exhausted from it each day. I am literally losing A LOT of sleep over it (3 and 4 AM have been no stranger to me as of late).

God's purpose in this will be revealed in due time, I know. And I pray that God will show me the answer, so that I can learn from it and learn to apply it in other stress-filled situations...and then, subsequently, to teach others to learn from my (and Peter's) miserable experiences and let your knowledge of Who God is be your reality... (And if you've already learned this lesson, please pass on your wisdom!)